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Divorced and Thriving: How to Break the Stigma Around Second Chances

  Let’s be honest; nobody walks down the aisle thinking they’ll one day be divorced. You plan the wedding, dream of forever, and hope love will always be enough. Unfortunately, it isn’t always so. And when it all falls apart, society often makes it worse. Especially here in Nigeria, where aunties at every family gathering suddenly become relationship counsellors, whispering things like, “What happened?” or “You’ll find someone soon, by God’s grace.” As if your worth expired with your marriage . Now, here’s the truth: divorce isn’t the end of your story. It’s a chapter; a painful one, yes, but also powerful. It can be the beginning of rediscovery, healing, and even thriving. So, let’s talk about breaking the stigma and embracing second chances in love, in life, and in yourself. 1. The Stigma Is Real, But It’s Also Outdated: In our culture, divorce is still whispered about like a scandal. People say “she’s divorced” in hushed tones, as if it’s a crime. Men face judgment too, t...

Single Ladies: 8 Reasons Why Marriage May Not Be the Next Step for You Right Now

 

A bride and her bridesmaids

In a time where marriage is often treated as the ultimate destination for women, especially as they reach a certain age, it’s easy to feel pressure to “settle down.” But the truth is, marriage isn’t a one-size-fits-all milestone, and it may not be what you need right now.

Here are 8 reasons why staying single might be the best move for you at this stage of your life.


1. You’re Still Discovering Who You Are: Your 20s and 30s are all about growth, reinvention, and figuring out your path. If you’re still exploring your passions, your values, or even what brings you peace, adding a life partner to the mix might complicate the process rather than complement it.


2. You’re Focused on Your Career or Business: Building your empire takes time, energy, and sacrifice. If you’re climbing the corporate ladder, launching your dream business, or juggling side hustles, marriage might take a backseat, and that’s okay.

A young woman at work


3. You’re Healing from Past Relationships: Emotional healing takes time. Whether it’s a breakup, betrayal, or childhood trauma, entering a marriage before you’ve processed those wounds can lead to repeating toxic patterns. Prioritize your peace and growth first.


4. You Crave Independence: Being single allows you the freedom to travel when you want, spend your money how you like, and make decisions without compromise. If that independence brings you joy and confidence, there’s no need to trade it in just yet.

Young lady shopping


5. You’re Not Ready for Compromise: Marriage demands a lot of giving; of time, energy, and emotional labour. If you’re not in a space where compromise feels natural and balanced, it’s better to wait than to feel resentful later.


6. You Have Other Priorities: Maybe you’re caring for a parent, raising a child, pursuing higher education, or simply focused on mental wellness. Marriage doesn’t have to compete with these goals. It can come when the time feels right.

Young lady in a private jet


7. You’re Not in Love: Sounds obvious, right? But you’d be surprised how many women feel pressured to marry because “the clock is ticking.” Love, not timelines or expectations, should be one of the main driving forces behind any commitment.


8. You’re Already Whole: Contrary to what romantic comedies suggest, you are not waiting for someone to “complete” you. You are whole on your own. Marriage should be a partnership between two complete individuals, not a rescue mission.

A happy woman


Marriage can be beautiful, but it’s not a requirement for a fulfilling life. Don’t rush into it to check a box or appease family, friends, or society.

This chapter of singleness might just be where you grow the most, love yourself the hardest, and set the foundation for the future you truly want.

Stay true to yourself, Queen. Your timeline is uniquely yours, and that’s your power!

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