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Divorced and Thriving: How to Break the Stigma Around Second Chances

  Let’s be honest; nobody walks down the aisle thinking they’ll one day be divorced. You plan the wedding, dream of forever, and hope love will always be enough. Unfortunately, it isn’t always so. And when it all falls apart, society often makes it worse. Especially here in Nigeria, where aunties at every family gathering suddenly become relationship counsellors, whispering things like, “What happened?” or “You’ll find someone soon, by God’s grace.” As if your worth expired with your marriage . Now, here’s the truth: divorce isn’t the end of your story. It’s a chapter; a painful one, yes, but also powerful. It can be the beginning of rediscovery, healing, and even thriving. So, let’s talk about breaking the stigma and embracing second chances in love, in life, and in yourself. 1. The Stigma Is Real, But It’s Also Outdated: In our culture, divorce is still whispered about like a scandal. People say “she’s divorced” in hushed tones, as if it’s a crime. Men face judgment too, t...
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For Couples: 6 Easy Ways to Discover Your Partner’s Love Language

 

Happy couple in love


Understanding your partner’s love language can significantly strengthen your marriage. Dr. Gary Chapman’s concept of love languages highlights that everyone has a preferred way of receiving love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Discovering your partner’s love language involves attentive observation and communication. Here are 6 easy ways to uncover your partner’s love language.


1. Observe Their Compliments: Pay attention to how your partner compliments you and others. If they frequently praise you, they might value Words of Affirmation. Compliments such as, “You look great” or “I appreciate what you did,” can indicate this love language. They might also enjoy hearing similar affirmations from you. 

African couple outdoors

2. Notice Their Requests: Listen to what your partner asks for the most. Do they often request your help with tasks around the house? This could be a sign that they appreciate Acts of Service. Conversely, if they ask for more one-on-one time, their love language might be Quality Time. 

African couple in love

3. Reflect on Past Conflicts: Consider the recurring themes in your arguments. If your partner often feels neglected or complains about lack of time together, they might value Quality Time. If they feel unappreciated for their efforts, Acts of Service could be their love language. Understanding the root of these conflicts can provide insights into their emotional needs. 

African couple unhappy

4. Pay Attention to How They Show Love: People often express love in the way they prefer to receive it. If your partner frequently gives you small gifts or tokens of affection, they might cherish Receiving Gifts. If they initiate physical contact, like hugs or holding hands, Physical Touch could be their love language. 

Happy African couple

5. Ask Directly: Sometimes, the simplest way is the best. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about their love language. Share the concept of love languages with them and discuss which one resonates the most. This can be an enlightening and bonding experience. 

African couple in love at home

6. Take the Love Languages Quiz Together: Dr. Chapman offers an online quiz designed to help couples identify their primary love languages. Taking this quiz together can be a fun and informative activity. Discuss the results and explore ways to incorporate each other’s love languages into your daily interactions. 

Happy African couple

By discovering and speaking your partner’s love language, you can create a deeper emotional connection and a more fulfilling relationship. This understanding allows you to express love in ways that are most meaningful to your partner, fostering mutual respect and affection.

Whether through words, actions, gifts, time, or touch, knowing your partner’s love language helps ensure that your love is felt and appreciated in the way it is intended.

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