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Divorced and Thriving: How to Break the Stigma Around Second Chances

  Let’s be honest; nobody walks down the aisle thinking they’ll one day be divorced. You plan the wedding, dream of forever, and hope love will always be enough. Unfortunately, it isn’t always so. And when it all falls apart, society often makes it worse. Especially here in Nigeria, where aunties at every family gathering suddenly become relationship counsellors, whispering things like, “What happened?” or “You’ll find someone soon, by God’s grace.” As if your worth expired with your marriage . Now, here’s the truth: divorce isn’t the end of your story. It’s a chapter; a painful one, yes, but also powerful. It can be the beginning of rediscovery, healing, and even thriving. So, let’s talk about breaking the stigma and embracing second chances in love, in life, and in yourself. 1. The Stigma Is Real, But It’s Also Outdated: In our culture, divorce is still whispered about like a scandal. People say “she’s divorced” in hushed tones, as if it’s a crime. Men face judgment too, t...

How to Strike a Balance When One Partner Is More Emotive Than the Other

 

Unhappy  couple

In any relationship, finding harmony can be challenging, especially when one partner is more expressive and emotive than the other.

This difference in emotional expression can sometimes create misunderstandings, with one partner feeling overwhelmed and the other feeling disconnected. However, this diversity in emotional styles doesn’t have to be a barrier.

By adopting a few practical strategies, couples can embrace their differences, foster understanding, and build a stronger relationship.


1. Embrace Each Other’s Natural Tendencies: The first step to balancing emotional differences is recognizing that each partner’s way of processing emotions is valid. While some people are naturally more expressive, others are inclined to be more reserved. Rather than trying to change one another, it’s important to respect each partner’s unique approach to emotions. Understand that it’s not about who’s “right” or “wrong” but rather about finding a rhythm that honours both perspectives.

African couple  talking


2. Be an Attentive Listener: Active listening is essential, especially when one partner is more emotionally expressive. For the less emotive partner, this means showing genuine interest and empathy, even if they might not fully understand or feel the same intensity of emotions. This can involve mirroring emotions, paraphrasing statements, or asking thoughtful questions. The emotive partner, in turn, can practice listening without overinterpreting their partner’s calm demeanour as disinterest. By focusing on understanding, both partners can feel heard and valued.

African couple having a conversation


3. Develop a Safe Space for Expression: To foster balance, couples should cultivate a safe and non-judgmental environment where both can share openly. For the more emotive partner, this space allows them to express themselves without feeling overwhelming. For the less emotive partner, it creates an opportunity to be open about their needs without feeling pressured. Creating this safe space might mean setting aside specific times to talk, agreeing on boundaries, or simply developing nonverbal signals that show care and support.

Young couple talking


4. Seek Compromise and Find Common Ground: Ultimately, balance in a relationship requires compromise. For the emotive partner, this might mean adjusting their level of expressiveness to make their partner feel more comfortable. For the less emotive partner, it could mean making a conscious effort to engage more deeply. These small shifts create a middle ground where both partners feel acknowledged and appreciated.

Young African couple in love


5. Consider Outside Help if Needed: When emotional differences cause recurring conflicts, seeking guidance from a counsellor or therapist can be invaluable. Professionals can offer tools and insights tailored to each partner’s communication style, helping them navigate and appreciate their emotional differences.

Young couple speaking to a counsellor


Striking a balance in emotional expression is about mutual respect, open communication, and a willingness to meet each other halfway.

By embracing each other’s unique emotional styles, couples can not only improve their understanding of each other but also strengthen their relationship, creating a bond that’s both resilient and empathetic.

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