So, you’ve been out of the dating game for a while. Maybe you’ve been flying solo after a divorce, rebuilding after loss, focusing on raising your children, or just enjoying the sweet, quiet freedom of not sharing your fries with anyone.
Now, something in you has shifted and you’re ready to dip a toe (or both feet) back into the dating pool. The water looks a little different, but don’t worry: we’ve got floaties! ;-)
Getting back into the world of dating can feel equal parts exciting and terrifying, like riding a roller coaster you thought you were too old for. However, with a few practical steps, you can find your rhythm again.
1. Check in with yourself first: Before swiping right or saying yes to meetups, take stock of where you are emotionally. Are you looking for companionship? Something casual? Or a long-term relationship? There’s no wrong answer here. Just be honest with yourself and potential partners to avoid disappointment.
Try this: Write a short list of what you want (and don’t want) in your next relationship. This isn’t about nitpicking, but about clarity. Think of it as a personal compass to keep you grounded.
2. Update your mindset (and maybe your wardrobe): Dating has changed, especially with apps, emojis, and “situationships” now in the mix. But at its core, it’s still about connection. Rather than dreading the changes, treat it like a new adventure, with Wi-Fi.
As for your wardrobe, no, you don’t need to buy a whole new closet. But wearing something that makes you feel confident and comfortable can give your self-esteem a quick boost.
Try this: Refresh your look by buying one outfit that makes you feel like your best self, whether it’s jeans that fit just right or a shirt that says, “I’ve still got it.”
3. Start small, practice flirting: Think of flirting like stretching before a workout: low pressure, and good for the soul. Smile at a stranger in line. Make a clever comment to the attendant. These tiny interactions build your confidence and remind you that yes, you are still charming.
Try this: Challenge yourself to start a short, friendly conversation with someone new once a week. No expectations, just human connection.
4. Give dating apps a chance (or a second one): Yes, dating apps can feel like a never-ending talent show, but they’re also a useful tool to meet people you wouldn’t cross paths with otherwise. Choose apps that match your goals. For instance, Bumble or Hinge for relationships, Tinder for casual vibes, or even niche apps like eHarmony, for single parents or divorced singles.
Try this: Set a timer for 30 minutes, two to three times a week, to explore profiles or respond to messages. Don’t let it consume your life, but do give it consistent energy.
5. Be upfront about your life, but don’t lead with your resume: Especially if you’re a single parent, divorced, or widowed, it’s natural to wonder when to share those details. Here’s the rule: don’t hide it, but don’t make it your entire bio either. You are more than your relationship history or your children, though they’re a meaningful part of your story.
Try this: Practice introducing yourself in a way that feels authentic but upbeat. For example, “I’ve been focused on raising two awesome children, and now I’m excited to meet someone who enjoys laughter and late-night takeout as much as I do.”
6. Don’t expect fireworks every time: Not every first date will end in magic. Some will end in mutual disinterest, a hug, or a good story for your group chat. That’s okay. Dating is a process of discovery about others, but also about yourself.
Try this: After each date, jot down what you liked and what didn’t work for you. It’s not just about “finding the one.” It’s about refining your understanding of what you want and need.
7. Laugh, let go, and keep going: You will have awkward moments. You might forget how to flirt or accidentally talk too much about your pet. That’s part of the charm. The best way to stay afloat? Don’t take it all too seriously.
Try this: Share your funniest or weirdest date moment with a friend. Remind yourself that dating is an experience, not a destination.
Final Splash
Whether it’s been 2 years or 20 since your last date, there’s no expiration date on love or on putting yourself back out there. You’ve grown, evolved, and weathered storms.
Now, you’re stepping into this new chapter with wisdom, strength, and maybe a fabulous playlist. Remember to enjoy the experience while you figure out what works for you.
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